Hard to Say Goodbye
by elisheva
Summary: Sara and Grissom directly after "A Happy Place".


**A/N: I don't own anything. Not even a house! I, like many others, have waited so long for these characters to get together. I am NOT leaving it like the episode did. Hope you enjoy.**

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Sara Sidle took one last look around Gil Grissom's place to assure she hadn't left anything and to reaffirm how everything was to remember later when she was alone and lonely in her new apartment.

She had attempted to get some sleep after the long night with Vega, after the awkward conversation with Grissom that had her awake and overanalyzing everything. Catherine had called, like she always seemed to do, after Sara had posed her question and while Grissom had told her sometimes nothing was in terms of black and white and squeezed her shoulder on his way out- the only type of affection in the office he usually used- Sara wasn't exactly convinced.

The pain she felt for leaving once more without saying goodbye sharpened as she walked towards the front door.

Her cell phone rang and she couldn't stop the smile that came to her face when she saw who it was. "Hello, Gilbert."

"Hey, Sara. You haven't left yet, have you?"

"I'm actually walking out the door right now. Is something wrong?"

"I wouldn't define it as wrong, per se. I just wish you had enough time to wait for me."

She sighed. "I know. I just didn't calculate the overtime right. I barely have time to get there as it is." She opened the door...to see Gil Grissom on the other side, phone in hand.

He hung his up and gave her a small smile. "Do you have enough time for an apology?"

She gaped at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Some things I want to say to you shouldn't be said over the phone. An apology over the line is not as sincere." He shrugged his shoulders. "And I wanted to see you."

Sara stepped back to allow him room in then wrapped her arms around her body. "I have a couple of minutes."

He studied her for a brief moment. "I'm not sure where to begin."

"You can start with the apology," she said with a slight smirk.

"Ah. Ok, Sara, I'm sorry about our last conversation. I feel I gave you the wrong impression and had no sufficient time in which to explain myself. And, now, I find myself constricted again. Sara, I never wanted you to leave or for me to leave you. Even now as you stand there I know intellectually that you need to go I still want to hold you in my arms and make you stay."

She swallowed the knot in her throat as she processed what he said. "I'm sorry too. That case has always seemed personal and when you tried to make me see it objectively I became oversensitive." She snorted. "You were right, by-the-way. He took matters into his own hands to free them both."

He cleared his throat and shifted his feet. "There's something else I want to say to you."

She tensed in apprehension. "Yes?"

Grissom took a breath. "I have wasted so much time hiding behind my desk and position when I should have just listened to myself and you. All those years are gone now and I regret every second I didn't give into the urge to stand closer to you or touch you more. I hope when everything is settled I didn't wait too long." He took a step closer and reached out to brush her cheek, his knuckle coming back wet. It was then she realized she was crying.

She released her arms and went into his, enjoying the warmth of his embrace just a little longer. "I wish I could stay here," she said, "but I just can't. And I never expected you to come because I know you can't." She laughed. "God, we're dysfunctional." She pulled back a little to look at him.

He chuckled. "No. We've seen dysfunction. _We_, at least, are sane."

Her smile faded. "I wouldn't be sane. Not if I stayed here right now. Maybe when the memories aren't as sharp."

"I hope some stay fresh."

Sara was quiet for a moment. "What are we going to do?"

Grissom squeezed her to him again. "We will continue talking on the phone. And as soon as I have a full staff and can get off we'll take that get-away you talked about."

She gave him her special Sara smile. "Beach or cruise?"

"Cruise," he told her decisively. "There's not enough water in Vegas." He sighed. "We better get going if you want to catch your flight."

They were quiet on the ride to the airport, content with holding hands.

When he headed for parking Sara adamantly insisted he just drop her off at the doors. "I'm an adult and can do this. They won't let you back anyway." And if we say goodbye there I'll break down, she silently added.

He pulled to the airport doors and they both looked out the window. As she finally reached for the door handle he reached for her. "Sara..."

When she looked back her eyes were shining.

"I got you a little something. A going away present of sorts." He reached into the console and brought out a small box.

"Do you want me to open it now?" Grissom nodded, almost shyly. She pulled the ribbon and opened the white box to reveal a silver ring. On it was a blue butterfly with purple framing the wings. She tried it on her pointer finger to find it fit perfectly. "Gil, it's beautiful. Thank you."

He beamed. "It's Glaucopsyche lygdamus. A palos verdes blue butterfly."

Sara smiled at him. "You have one of these framed, right?"

"Yes, I do."

She hugged him tight then shared a kiss with all the passion they felt. Finally, they broke apart. She placed a hand on his scruffy cheek. "Goodbye, Gilbert."

He took her hand and kissed it. "Goodbye, Sara."

Once she was seated in the waiting area biding her time until her plane came she stared at her ring once more.

An insect, she thought with a smile. How very Gil Grissom.


End file.
